Why does my tank keep getting empty??

I think of psychological and emotional energy as my fuel tank, what fills it and what drains it.

If I’m with people all day, whenever I interact with someone I’m using some fuel from my tank. We need to be considering how our interactions with certain people make us feel afterwards. Depending on the company we keep, the people we are exposed to, our behaviour profile and ‘the stuff’ going on in our own head; it will all affect how our nervous system responds and the amount of energy we then have left to run on. If you are an introverted personality type, being aware that interactions will most definitely take a bit more fuel from your tank than if you have a more extroverted profile is valuable to know.

When we overlook or choose to ignore the things that are draining us, often this can result in the feeling of running on fumes. This is when burnout happens. Burnout is when chronic psychological or emotional stress becomes overwhelming as a result of not having enough resources to manage stress. Stress itself is going to happen frequently, maybe even daily, but in some cases it can be a motivating factor that makes us get shit done and achieve the goals we desire. Although, when we have depleted our resources and start running into the burnout zone, the ability to cope with even the simplest of daily tasks becomes overwhelming.

When interacting with people we might be finding we feel exhausted, less patient, unable to focus, frustrated, detached, anxious and triggered by anything. I often talk with my clients about this point as being when we have ‘twitchy eye’ going on. Be aware of what happens here.  We may have a triggered response by saying something, or behaving in a way that we didn’t want, but the action that most often follows is that we withdraw or retreat afterwards or the other person does. It’s actually a defensive mechanism that is getting the result we need and that’s avoiding stress and protecting our energy. 

I’m not saying that this is an ideal way to function within your behaviours, as there are ways to prevent these responses before they become defensive, however, through understanding how to protect our energy via some basic routines we can do on a regular basis to help maintain ourselves is a start. By knowing and understanding the things that reset you on a deeper level and believing you deserve the time to schedule that pick me up will recharge, regenerate and invigorate you out of survival mode into living again.

Some ideas to consider when getting out of burnout and finding ways to refill your tank are

What makes you happy?

This is a simple but powerful question for some. I know for me it’s not something I’ve ever really been asked or worse, I’ve not asked myself. Happy is really a state of mind, we can just choose to be right now, but what makes you feel happiness? Not in looking outside of yourself to see something that makes you happy, more what makes you feel happiness internally within you.

Noticing where you feel stuck

We can trap ourselves into cycles fueled by self limitations, doubt and fear. This results in feeling like we have no choices, but there’s a big difference in believing we truly have no choice and just feeling like we don’t. Feeling it can keep us in a pattern of no way out and self defeat. Keep it super simple and realise that we are making choices everyday, even during the current isolation we are making choices inside the restricted space. You decided to put on pants today, or not to!

Set boundaries

Boundaries are simple, but they are not easy. What is ok and what is not ok for you? Who makes me feel better rather than worse after spending time together, because we can’t maintain energy without boundaries. I know this isn’t easy, as we want to please other people, we don’t want to offend or put anyone out, but we CANNOT be compassionate or help other people without boundaries.

Talk

Engagement with others gains positivity and gives you a feeling of support by connecting and talking to someone. The simple task of talking out your stress often gives you a space for reflection and can help you hear or see some choices you may not have noticed you had!

Write

Communicating through writing it all out of you. When we feel overwhelmed it’s an overload of our own emotions. A simple brain dumping of everything that’s bothering you onto paper, then cross off anything that doesn’t have to be done RIGHT NOW will instantly lighten the load. You could also delegate or just let some of the things go.

Move

I work with the psychology behind the bodies stored physical and emotional pain. The emotional patterns create tension patterns in the body and the way to regulate this is that it needs to be pushed out of our nervous system through the body.

So many people are looking outside of themselves for answers, but seriously how many of you know anyone that can give that to you!!

Being willing to ask for help in finding your answers and having an understanding of the need to refill your tank before the stage of hitting the burn out zone is an essential part of being a parent, a leader, treating clients or just living a regulated life.

EVERYTHING is all about energy. Good energy is contagious!

Kylie x

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